I think most people like some kink in the bedroom every now and then. Sometimes, though, it gets pushed a little too far. I don’t mean the more normal types of kink. Maybe you pulled her hair a little too hard or maybe it was a bad idea to go around back. No harm done, really, and things will probably be a little weird for a hot sec, but in time things will be fine and eventually he’ll forget about the time you tried to put a finger in his butt. What I’d like to talk about are the really weird moments where the girl asks you to wear a diaper or when a guy asks you to yell angrily at his nutsack.
I think most of us would like to consider ourselves sexually open, but some shit just does not fly. You want to be whipped? Have fun. You want to a girl to walk on your junk? Fine. As long as I don’t have to be involved I’m pretty much whatever about the whole thing. When it pops up unannounced in my life, that’s when I have a problem.
When I was nineteen I dated this girl who stripped at a club called The Lusty Lady. It was one of those peep-show joints where the girls would dance behind the glass and creeps would jerk off in the private booths. She could be a little wild, being a stripper and all, but really where the problem began and ended was with the biting. Now, I’m down with a little playful nibbling. Teeth are not something I normally want associated with certain parts of my body, but WHATEVER. I was dating a stripper and was still young enough to think that was really cool.
Anyway, we’re hooking up and she proposes to go *ahem* down south. So, all’s well and good, right? WRONG. At one point about midway through the ordeal she started biting down. At first, I was like “Well, maybe this going somewhere. Maybe this is some special stripper trick they learn at the academy and I’m about to have my mind blown.” But then it starts to hurt. A lot. I tell her to stop, but she doesn’t. I’m starting to panic. If I just yank I could run the risk of separating myself from one of my best friends, but if I try to “man up” I might become party to my own re-circumcision. Now, I don’t hit women. Ever. But every instinct is telling me to punch this girl in the head. Just when I start to consider making my first and only domestic violation I remembered something from Zoobooks. Specifically, the issue about sharks. I covered her nose and she let go when she couldn’t breathe. Quicker than a bunny, I grabbed my shit and ran out of her apartment with my pants around my ankles. She never called to apologize.
So, you know. Give a heads up or ask when you’re gonna do something freaky. Just in case that person isn’t down. Especially if it’s dick-biting.
I think most people like some kink in the bedroom every now and then. Sometimes, though, it gets pushed a little too far. I don’t mean the more normal types of kink. Maybe you pulled her hair a little too hard or maybe it was a bad idea to go around back. No harm done, really, and things will probably be a little weird for a hot sec, but in time things will be fine and eventually he’ll forget about the time you tried to put a finger in his butt. What I’d like to talk about are the really weird moments where the girl asks you to wear a diaper or when a guy asks you to yell angrily at his nutsack.
I think most of us would like to consider ourselves sexually open, but some shit just does not fly. You want to be whipped? Have fun. You want to a girl to walk on your junk? Fine. As long as I don’t have to be involved I’m pretty much whatever about the whole thing. When it pops up unannounced in my life, that’s when I have a problem.
When I was nineteen I dated this girl who stripped at a club called The Lusty Lady. It was one of those peep-show joints where the girls would dance behind the glass and creeps would jerk off in the private booths. She could be a little wild, being a stripper and all, but really where the problem began and ended was with the biting. Now, I’m down with a little playful nibbling. Teeth are not something I normally want associated with certain parts of my body, but WHATEVER. I was dating a stripper and was still young enough to think that was really cool.
Anyway, we’re hooking up and she proposes to go *ahem* down south. So, all’s well and good, right? WRONG. At one point about midway through the ordeal she started biting down. At first, I was like “Well, maybe this going somewhere. Maybe this is some special stripper trick they learn at the academy and I’m about to have my mind blown.” But then it starts to hurt. A lot. I tell her to stop, but she doesn’t. I’m starting to panic. If I just yank I could run the risk of separating myself from one of my best friends, but if I try to “man up” I might become party to my own re-circumcision. Now, I don’t hit women. Ever. But every instinct is telling me to punch this girl in the head. Just when I start to consider making my first and only domestic violation I remembered something from Zoobooks. Specifically, the issue about sharks. I covered her nose and she let go when she couldn’t breathe. Quicker than a bunny, I grabbed my shit and ran out of her apartment with my pants around my ankles. She never called to apologize.
So, you know. Give a heads up or ask when you’re gonna do something freaky. Just in case that person isn’t down. Especially if it’s dick-biting.
