Everyone knows that there’s no secret Jewish cabal ruling the world. The people who actually believe there is such a group are mistakenly confusing it with the one that tells girls what is fashionable. They meet in the candlelit basement of Yves Saint Laurent and hold meetings about tiny hats those idiotic Greek sandals. The group can trace their lineage back to the bustle and even the earliest days of Chinese foot binding. Some say they are an advanced alien culture who thought it would be funny if they told the ancient Egyptians to “really rock that long goatee” and told the Incans “Feathers. More of ‘em.”
They prepare for the day when the love-child of Kanye and Amber Rose unleashes fury and hell on this earth. It is said that it will make the rivers run red with the blood of Target shoppers and jeans will become so skinny that people will burst.
But have heart, my child. The scrolls speak of a man who will come to our rescue in our most desperate hour of need. His name will be Terrence and he will work at a unisex salon in Engelwood. Ballads will be sung of him afterwards and his rallying cry of “Nuh-uh, girl. You cannot be wearin’ that shit out in public. They gonna lock you up.” will be echoed thoughout the land.
So it is said.
Everyone knows that there’s no secret Jewish cabal ruling the world. The people who actually believe there is such a group are mistakenly confusing it with the one that tells girls what is fashionable. They meet in the candlelit basement of Yves Saint Laurent and hold meetings about tiny hats those idiotic Greek sandals. The group can trace their lineage back to the bustle and even the earliest days of Chinese foot binding. Some say they are an advanced alien culture who thought it would be funny if they told the ancient Egyptians to “really rock that long goatee” and told the Incans “Feathers. More of ‘em.”
They prepare for the day when the love-child of Kanye and Amber Rose unleashes fury and hell on this earth. It is said that it will make the rivers run red with the blood of Target shoppers and jeans will become so skinny that people will burst.
But have heart, my child. The scrolls speak of a man who will come to our rescue in our most desperate hour of need. His name will be Terrence and he will work at a unisex salon in Engelwood. Ballads will be sung of him afterwards and his rallying cry of “Nuh-uh, girl. You cannot be wearin’ that shit out in public. They gonna lock you up.” will be echoed thoughout the land.
So it is said.
