I wonder how the male Republican demographic would feel about homosexuality if only women could be gay. Probably the same, but if you think about it, once you get past the stupid shit like the porn (which I’m pretty sure lesbians don’t get down on anyway) and the frat-boy appeal of two dumb drunk girls making out at a party, you still come away pretty non-threatened. Hell, you might have just gained a pool-partner.

And really, when it comes to just pure hangoutability you’ve got to go butch. Sure, lesbians come in all shapes and sizes, but when I’m thinking of whom to get drunk and play darts with I’m callin’ my dyke friends. Their bars? How do you feel about whiskey and Hank Williams? It’s the best. Think you can go shot for shot with Linda? Nope, she just came from Rugby practice and is ready to DRANK. It’s like god gave us a bunch of cool dudes to hang out with. Except they’re girls.

So how could rural conservatives not get down with that? That’s thousands of police officers, firefighters, potential paintball teammates and drinking buddies. Are you worried they’ll have better trucks than you? Be smarter and more educated than you? Get with hotter ladies than you?

Hm. Good point.

2 years ago