Wanna hear a crazy story?
Okay. So, in highschool I knew this kid named Eric. He was a jerk and an ass and later proved himself to be a real racist douchebag, but at the time he was just an unpleasant dude. His parents were insanely wealthy and had a mansion with a pool right smack in the middle of downtown San Francisco. Like, megabucks. Every year he would throw a huge party and although we all disliked him fiercely, we’d all go anyway to drink his Dad’s booze and swim in his pool.
So, one year the party got really crazy. It was a blast. Had there’ve been rafters, people would have been swinging from them. At the time I was dating a really nice and pretty girl named Teresa. Somehow or another we found ourselves drunk in his parents bedroom and began to do what young kids do. The lights were off as they normally were when we had sex. I don’t know why she always wanted it that way. It could’ve been a Latin Catholic thing or perhaps she was insecure about her body, I don’t know. At age sixteen I didn’t care and was just happy to be getting laid. The important part of the story here is that the lights were off.
The sex was good. Really good. The kind of sex where it moves around the bedroom to every conceivable wall and surface. To follow our progress you’d need one of those dotted lines that you used to track Jeffy in the Family Circus. It was the kind of sex that makes you want to talk about god after because of the amount of times his name was invoked during. Good stuff. So, we finish. I’m puttering around in the dark trying to find a lamp. When I do, I flip it on. What I saw then still haunts me to this day.
Blood. Everywhere. Now, I’m not really opposed to sex during a girl’s period. Not a big deal. But this was INSANE. Walls, the bed, the tables, the floor, her and… I looked down at myself smeared with blood and see my dick. My brain is racing and the first thought I have in my head is “Blood. Blood? MY BLOOD?”
Completely naked and covered in blood, I faint.
I come to literally seconds later with her slapping my face. We frantically washed the visible evidence off of our bodies in the adjoining bathroom and infiltrated our way back into the party. Behind us we left a grisly crime scene. I still wonder what Eric’s parents thought when they came home to find their room the site of a terrible double homicide, but no bodies. I’d like to think that they got rid of all the sheets and never said a word about it. They continued their lives normally with terror in their heart because of the demon that they thought must lurk within their son. Teresa and I saw each other randomly the last time I was back home and laughed ourselves silly at the thought. Yeah. Fuck you, Eric.
Wanna hear a crazy story?
Okay. So, in highschool I knew this kid named Eric. He was a jerk and an ass and later proved himself to be a real racist douchebag, but at the time he was just an unpleasant dude. His parents were insanely wealthy and had a mansion with a pool right smack in the middle of downtown San Francisco. Like, megabucks. Every year he would throw a huge party and although we all disliked him fiercely, we’d all go anyway to drink his Dad’s booze and swim in his pool.
So, one year the party got really crazy. It was a blast. Had there’ve been rafters, people would have been swinging from them. At the time I was dating a really nice and pretty girl named Teresa. Somehow or another we found ourselves drunk in his parents bedroom and began to do what young kids do. The lights were off as they normally were when we had sex. I don’t know why she always wanted it that way. It could’ve been a Latin Catholic thing or perhaps she was insecure about her body, I don’t know. At age sixteen I didn’t care and was just happy to be getting laid. The important part of the story here is that the lights were off.
The sex was good. Really good. The kind of sex where it moves around the bedroom to every conceivable wall and surface. To follow our progress you’d need one of those dotted lines that you used to track Jeffy in the Family Circus. It was the kind of sex that makes you want to talk about god after because of the amount of times his name was invoked during. Good stuff. So, we finish. I’m puttering around in the dark trying to find a lamp. When I do, I flip it on. What I saw then still haunts me to this day.
Blood. Everywhere. Now, I’m not really opposed to sex during a girl’s period. Not a big deal. But this was INSANE. Walls, the bed, the tables, the floor, her and… I looked down at myself smeared with blood and see my dick. My brain is racing and the first thought I have in my head is “Blood. Blood? MY BLOOD?”
Completely naked and covered in blood, I faint.
I come to literally seconds later with her slapping my face. We frantically washed the visible evidence off of our bodies in the adjoining bathroom and infiltrated our way back into the party. Behind us we left a grisly crime scene. I still wonder what Eric’s parents thought when they came home to find their room the site of a terrible double homicide, but no bodies. I’d like to think that they got rid of all the sheets and never said a word about it. They continued their lives normally with terror in their heart because of the demon that they thought must lurk within their son. Teresa and I saw each other randomly the last time I was back home and laughed ourselves silly at the thought. Yeah. Fuck you, Eric.
